Men Behaving Godly

Sunday's message was directed at fathers, of course. Hopefully you felt challenged and encouraged to be the man/husband/father that God has designed and is calling you to be!

While the sermon was basically about men, it may have spoke to everyone--men and women alike, to take a look at your relationships and your family and see an area that you can work on. Beverly and I have been married for 38 years and have led marriage groups and taught marriage classes for many of those years, and I will tell you that I am still learning. I continue to be challenged as God shines the light in my heart and exposes attitudes and beliefs and thoughts that are not in keeping with His design for me. I'm still learning, folks!

Interestingly on the way home from church, as we discussed the sermon, Beverly and I began talking about the things that we have learned (and are still learning) in our years together. We both realize that we wish we "knew then what we know (or are learning) now" in terms of how to be the husband and wife/father and mother that God wants us to be. We talked about how the modeling we had as kids led us to wrong conclusions about what our roles would be in our family as adults.

What we learned by watching our parents in their roles as spouses and parents, set the course for our marriage. Oh, if we could only rewind which, of course, we can't. We can determine, through the grace of God, to change the things that He convicts us of, and we have seen changes happen over the past many years. We still have a long ways to go.

As I think about modeling, I would like to add a postscript to Sunday's message and that is this:

Fathers, your sons are learning from you what a godly father and husband looks like. Your sons are watching you in your interaction with your wife, and they are making mental notes about how to behave as husbands. If they see you yelling or being critical or angry, they will grow up thinking that that's the way that men treat women. They are also experiencing you as a father, and learning the way "it is supposed to be," right or wrong. Someday, when you look at your son in his own family, chances are pretty good you will see a reflection of who and what you are.

Fathers, you are also modeling for your daughters what a godly father and husband looks like. Your daughters are learning from you how a husband should treat his wife, and therefore, how she should "expect" to be treated by her future husband. If she sees you criticizing or being unkind or demanding with your wife, she will probably end up with someone who treats her the same way. If she marries someone like that, how good of a father will he be to your grandchildren? (If you don't believe me, ask Beverly how often that pattern occurs in her counseling practice.)

So when you consider Sunday's message and think and pray about making some positive changes, perhaps one thing to keep in mind is that you are creating the family climate for the generations that will come after you--your children and their children. You have the opportunity to give your children a great start for their own families, and you can start today!

Talk to me! Post a comment! I love to read them!

Being Respectful

On Sunday, we talked about being respectful in our relationships. I want to focus in today's post on our relationships within the body of Christ. Psalm 133:1 tells us "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" Hebrews 12:14 tells us "Make every effort to live at peace with all men and to be holy."

Living in unity and living at peace with all men seems like a tall order, doesn't it? I wonder what the church would be like if we all were actually in unity and were living at peace with all men. We certainly have been given the directive, but sometimes walking it out is a tough assignment. Why is that? Why are there "issues" that divide and cause rifts in relationships?

Well, of course the obvious answer is that we are people who have wants and desires and our own ideas of what is the right way to do any given thing. We have different giftings, and we have our passions and our visions that are different from others. Unfortunately, sometimes our wants and desires are contrary to those of others. When we are dealing with people who are inherently different from us we have to work hard at living at peace and in unity with them.

Different is the key word. People are different from us, but that doesn't make them wrong. The key to living in harmony is learning to appreciate those differences. Remember that every time you deal with a person who is different from you, it is an opportunity to learn something. When we can appreciate someone who is different from us, we can begin to see the strengths in their personality or viewpoint. Taking the time to listen to someone who sees a situation differently than you do is the first step towards unity.

It is my personal belief that one of the important things that God does in our relationships with fellow believers is that He brings to light things in us that need to change. That is, in part, one aspect of sanctification, specifically the process of becoming conformed to the image of Christ. As we walk with the Lord, we are to become more like Him. II Corinthians 3:18 says, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

So when we are at odds with someone in the body of Christ (or outside the body as well, however here I am focusing on Body Life), we should seek to resolve the issue in a way to be in unity as the psalmist wrote, but also to live at peace with that person as Paul instructed. Resolve the issue. Find a way to live at peace with him/her.

It is important to remember that we are not talking about simply putting on a happy face with a "grin and bear it" mentality. Inside many happy appearances reside heart issues that are only known to God and ourselves. It is those hidden heart issues that eventually come out and destroy relationships and, yes, even entire churches.

But even more importantly when we are struggling to accept a person or his/her views, we should ask God to show us what is in our hearts that needs to be changed. (Notice I didn't say to ask God what is in the other person's heart!) What is there in your heart that is contributing to the relationship issue you are dealing with? Bitterness? Pride? Unforgiveness? Selfishness? Anger? Resentment? Arrogance? Seek God, and then seek to rid yourselves of whatever it is that gets in the way of unity and peace in relationships.

If we all were to do that, if we were to look inward for the problem instead of pointing fingers at others, we would be well on our way to unity and peace, and the Church would be an example to the world in ways that can only testify of God's transforming power in our lives.

Ephesians 4:1 says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I Peter 2:17 says, "Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."

Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

The message is clear. We are to prefer the desires and needs of others over those of ourselves. Whenever we are insisting on our way or angry when we don't get it, we are clearly in violation of scripture and we have a heart issue to deal with.

Talk to me! Post a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Waiting and Watching

"When the next generation looks back on our lives, will they see servants of the Lord that have been faithfully watching, or will they see adults who were waiting for the Lord while passing time doing a thousand different things?"

I don't know about you, but that is a question that stops me short in my tracks. I have long said that one of the things that is most important to me is that when I am gone I leave "tracks" that my children and grandchildren can confidently follow in their quest to honor the Lord. I want them to be able to say that their dad (or grandpa or great-grandpa) honored God and served Him well.

I taught my boys to play baseball. We taught all three kids to drive a car. Beverly taught them to cook and do laundry. We helped them with their school work and we participated in their school events and extra-curricular activities. All good things.

But those things are not the things that really mattered in the scheme of things. We also taught them other things of more importance and value. Be a person of character. Tell the truth. Respect other people. Keep your word. Help people. Be kind. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

The most important thing we taught them was about living with a view towards eternity. I suppose that could be called watchfulness.

Mental Watchfulness

I Thessalonians 5:6 tells us to be sober and alert. We taught our children to not be taken in by the enemy's tactics, but to watch out for those that would try to draw them away from their faith.

Being drawn away from our faith sometimes happens when we start running with the wrong crowd and start drinking or partying or whatever. But, unfortunately, most of the time it happens in a much more subtle way. We start THINKING like those outside of Christ. We start trying to FIT IN with their lifestyle and choices.

Red Flag Warning: If we start feeling like we fit in very well with our non-Christian friends in ways that do not honor Christ, we are not being "Mentally Watchful."

Moral Watchfulness

II Timothy lists some characteristics of people in the last days before Christ returns: 1) lovers of self, 2) lovers of money, 3) boastful, 4) arrogant, 5) revilers (verbally abusive), 6) being disobedient to parents, 7) ungrateful, 8) unholy, 9) unloving, 10) being gossipers, 11) having no self-control, 12) being brutal, 13) being haters of good, 14) treacherous, 15) reckless, 16) conceited, 17) lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

It is really quite a list, isn't it? I would imagine that most of us look at the list and think, "Well, that doesn't really describe me, so I'm safe." Really?

I would have to say that as a general rule I am not boastful or arrogant or ungrateful or unloving. But are there times when I boast? Or are there times when I am arrogant or ungrateful? Am I sometimes unloving? The answer to that is "yes."

But here's the thing: If I ask the Holy Spirit to convict me of any behaviors like those mentioned above, and if I REPENT and seek to CHANGE, then I am much less likely to exhibit those characteristics until they become who I am. If I am boastful often I am becoming a boaster. If I am ungrateful often, then I am becoming ungrateful. Repentance is the key, and a willingness to be changed by a work of the Spirit.

Red Flag Warning: If I notice a particular characteristic in my life that is becoming a pattern then I am probably losing my Moral Watchfulness. I will most likely only notice this pattern if I am listening to the Holy Spirit. I must repent repent and change, or I will be lulled into a pattern of ungodly attitudes and behaviors.

I Thessalonians 5:8-9 says "But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Proverbs 4:23 tells us "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

As I mentioned on Sunday, it is often the LITTLE sins (not that God thinks they're little) that do the most damage in our lives. We must be watchful for any of those little things (bad attitudes, resentment, bitterness, etc.) creeping into our lives. The world considers those things "normal," but they must never be normal to us, because if we allow those things into our lives we are letting down our guard.

Talk to me. What are your thoughts? Which is the most difficult do you think, the MENTAL watchfulness or the MORAL watchfulness?

Write a comment! I'd love to read it!

The Holy Spirit Overcomes

Sunday we talked about overcoming through the power of the Holy Spirit. The apostle John writes that "every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the anti-Christ, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world. You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and, therefore, speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them." (I John 4:3-5)

We, my friends, are overcomers through the power of the Holy Spirit within us. We must not fear the spirit of the anti-Christ, but we must instead resist it. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7) How do we resist the enemy who is the spirit of the anti-Christ?

First, we must understand that we cannot do it in our own human strength. The apostle Paul writes about Christ's overcoming, decisive victory: "and having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. (Colossians 2:15) Remember, it is important for us to acknowledge our dependence upon the Holy Spirit for the power to overcome, walking through each day relying upon Him for strength and wisdom and discernment.

Second, we must know the truth. How? We must know the word of God. This does not mean, of course, that we must have the entire Bible memorized. But we need to study the word and absorb the word and apply the word each day, so that we find God's word central to all we say and do. It is essential for the word of God needs to be our compass and the truth of God's word the light that guides our path. "Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path." (Psalm 119:105)


Finally, we must be aware of all the voices out there that are the spirit of the anti-Christ. We must never forget, friends, that the spirit of the anti-Christ often speaks to us in sweet, gentle tones that we find soothing and attractive. The spirit of the anti-Christ usually will weave in just enough truth in what is being said, that unless you are careful to know the word of God and to listen to the Holy Spirit within you, it is possible to be deceived. So while you must not fear, you must be vigilant and hold fast to the truth.

"Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life." (Proverbs 4:13)

"Be always on your guard and stand firm in the faith." (I Corinthians 16:13)

"Therefore, dear friends, since you already know this, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position." (II Peter 3:17)

"We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away." (Hebrews 2:1)

Questions to ponder:

1) Do you test the spirits by holding what you hear up to the word of God to determine whether it is of Christ or of the anti-Christ?

2) Do you listen carefully to see if what you are hearing is all true or if it has a bit of truth? Do you ask yourself if things line up with the word of God?

3) Do you feed on God's word, so that when the lie comes along you will recognize it?

4) Have philosophies and thinking of this world seeped into your worldview? If so, how has that happened and what will you do to correct it?

Talk to me! I love to read what you are thinking and see how the Sunday teaching challenges you.

The Holy Spirit Equips

Many of you will remember the image that I projected Sunday morning when I preached on the gifts of the Spirit. I was making the point that all of the gifts are necessary for the church to function as God intended.

Here it is in a nutshell: God gave us all gifts. The spiritual gifts are important for the health and work of the church. Not only The Sanctuary. We're talking about THE Church, global and without walls. It seems that if God gives gifts that are essential for the church/Church to be healthy and functioning, then it seems to follow that He intends for us to allow Him to use our gifts for His purposes.

Okay so back to the image.



Does that strike you as a bit odd? As I look at the image this morning, it strikes me that there is this gaping hole in the puzzle, and this guy is standing there, apparently wondering what to do about it. It seems to me that he is "puzzled" by the missing piece in the puzzle.

When our family puts a puzzle together, we have a little thing we do where each person sort of devises a plan to be able to put the last piece in. It is apparently a great thing to be able to put the last piece in. Why? Well the answer is obvious--the puzzle is not complete without that last piece. The other pieces are together. They fit nicely. They together make a portion of a picture, but instead of your eyes taking in the beauty of the puzzle you have just assembled, your eyes are drawn to the place where the missing piece should be. In a way, the most important piece at that moment is the missing piece. Without it, the puzzle doesn't "function" as a puzzle.

So this guy is standing and contemplating the missing piece. I wonder if it has occurred to him that he might be the missing piece. The analogy is not perfect, of course, because he isn't the shape of a puzzle piece. But my point is that he could solve the problem by finding the piece instead of standing there helplessly looking. It's obvious the puzzle needs the piece, and it is obvious that at that moment the missing piece is the most important one!

It seems to me that this is like the body of Christ. There are too many people who are standing on the sidelines and not using their spiritual gifts. The result, of course, is that the church/Church functions poorly because of the missing parts. There are people who are not using their gifts because they feel that their gifts are not important or others have greater gifts. What would the Church look like, how would it function, if every spiritual gift that God has given us as individuals was being used as He intended for the greater good of the body of Christ?

So here are some questions for you to think about:

1) Do you know what your spiritual gift is?
2) Are you using your spiritual gift for the healthy functioning of the body of Christ?
3) Do you ever NOT use your gift because you feel less important or embarrassed or inadequate? If so, does yesterday's message change your view on whether you should use your gifts or not?

I want you to talk to me. Think about the gifts, the importance of them, the equality of all of them, and how God wants us to use them, then post a comment giving me your thoughts. I read every comment, I promise, and I find them encouraging and I believe strongly that this blog "conversation" contributes to the learning and growing of all of us!

Conquering Egypt

Yesterday, we talked about the mother of Moses. This was a woman who lived surrounded by a pagan Egyptian culture, one that threatened the well-being of her family--spiritually, socially, financially, physically, and relationally. The Bible makes it clear that the king was greatly concerned by the growing population of the Israelites. They were a people who were viewed as dangerous and threatening by the Egyptian "powers-that-be" of the time.

Here was a woman who, when under orders to throw her infant son into the Nile River, found a way to save his life. Was it risky? Oh yeah! She took a chance when she placed him in a basket made of reeds and tar and put the basket in the Nile River. She did not know if he would be found, nor did she know what would happen if he was found. Yes, she sent the baby's sister to watch and see what would happen, but ultimately she placed her infant son in the hands of the Lord her God. She "did the right thing" in the face of adversity, obstacles, opposition, and persecution.

How much this is like what we face today! As I pray for the precious people God has brought to The Sanctuary,
I am often led to pray for the families with children and grandchildren. Today, my prayer is especially for all the mothers. Mothers (and fathers, of course) are charged with "doing the right thing" in an increasingly difficult culture, one where people of faith are seen as weak and stupid and the Lord we serve is mocked openly. Parents are literally teaching their children to go against the current when they teach these young ones to follow the ways of the Lord.

Moms, here is what I want you to know.

1) Remember that you are on the front line in the battle for your children's souls. It is important that you make sure that you are nurturing your own soul in things of the faith. How? Reading and meditating on the word of God, talking to God, and (more importantly) listening to Him, keeping your eyes on the prize and not being distracted by the things of this world. Being filled up and in tune with the Lord, you'll have strength for the battle.

Question: Are you nurturing yourself spiritually?

2) You need to "keep your eye on the prize" for your children as well. They will choose or not choose for themselves whether or not to follow Christ, but the choices you make as a mom help to influence them in that direction. You must communicate to them by action and not words only, how important spiritual disciplines are and how important it is that their choices of friends, activities, music, etc. are congruent with Christian living.

Question: Are you guiding your children to make choices that will bring them closer to Christ?

3) You need to help your children to understand that being a follower of Christ means that they might not always fit in and at times they may even be excluded or ridiculed. You will need to help them to deal with the pain of that, but also to learn to have a Christ-like response when that happens. Remember that it is not easy to be a child or adolescent growing up in a culture that is increasingly hostile to people of faith, especially the Christian faith. We must teach our children to "whenever possible live at peace with all people" (Romans 12:18) which is a challenge in a hostile world.

Question: Are you praying with and talking to your children about going against the current in school and with friends?

4) Paul wrote in I Corinthians 11:1, "Imitate me, as I imitate Christ." You must realize that they learn a lot more about the things that are important in life by watching you than they do from listening to you. Model for them what matters. Is prayer important? Then let them see you pray or better yet, pray with them. Is scripture important? Then ask God to show you how to incorporate scripture into the conversations you have with your children. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9) Is church attendance important? Then make church attendance a top priority for your family. Is the Gospel important? Then let them see you live the Gospel by making Godly choices in entertainment, activities, friends, and music.

Question: Can you comfortably tell your children to follow your example?

Mothers are such an important part of a child's life. How many great men and women have pointed to their mothers for bringing them up in ways that contributed to their success? The way you raise your children will contribute or detract from their spiritual success. It is an awesome responsibility and amazing opportunity!

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR PARENTAL WITNESS!

Okay, now it's your turn! What are your thoughts? Are there things you need to change in raising your children to be people of God? What are the struggles? What have you found important in being successful? What are the biggest obstacles? Talk to me!

The Holy Spirit: Teacher

When our kids were growing up, we spent a fair amount of time teaching them something (tying shoes, catching a ball, the alphabet, setting the table, etc.). Usually that went pretty well. They were all smart kids, and were eager to try and learn new things. There were times, however, when they would either not listen or would think they already knew something or had a better idea of how it should be done. For us, the "teachers" it was sometimes frustrating and sometimes comical.

After trying and trying to do some new skill their own way, they were more than willing to settle down and listen to instruction from parents who knew very well how to do that skill. I often thought how much time they could have saved all of us if they would have been willing to just listen and learn.

On Sunday we talked about the Holy Spirit being given to us as our Teacher. We talked about how He instructs us and in so doing helps us avoid significant problems in our lives.

There are two parts (at least) to this equation. The Holy Spirit teaches us. That is His part and He is faithful to do His part. He is the Spirit of Truth (John 15:26) and what He teaches us is important in our journey of learning to resist temptation to sin and and become what He desires for us to be. We can rely on Him, because He guides us into all truth (John 16:13).

The Holy Spirit's part is teaching. Our part is learning what He teaches. How do we learn? Well one of the obvious answers to that question is that we need to listen, and then we must obey. The Holy Spirit is in us if we are in Christ, and so He is along with us on our spiritual journey. If we listen, we will hear Him teaching us what is the right way to be, think, act, rest, stand, pray, and on and on.

The question is, are we listening? Just as my kids sometimes didn't listen and only let me teach them after finding that doing it their way didn't work so well, sometimes I think we do that with the Holy Spirit. When we find ourselves messing up it may be that the Holy Spirit is talking and we just aren't listening. We need to, like the psalmist, have a burning desire to learn truth.

Psalm 86:11 "Teach me your way, oh Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

Do you want to know how to walk with God and please Him? The Holy Spirit is your teacher. Listen, and learn!