Being Respectful

On Sunday, we talked about being respectful in our relationships. I want to focus in today's post on our relationships within the body of Christ. Psalm 133:1 tells us "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" Hebrews 12:14 tells us "Make every effort to live at peace with all men and to be holy."

Living in unity and living at peace with all men seems like a tall order, doesn't it? I wonder what the church would be like if we all were actually in unity and were living at peace with all men. We certainly have been given the directive, but sometimes walking it out is a tough assignment. Why is that? Why are there "issues" that divide and cause rifts in relationships?

Well, of course the obvious answer is that we are people who have wants and desires and our own ideas of what is the right way to do any given thing. We have different giftings, and we have our passions and our visions that are different from others. Unfortunately, sometimes our wants and desires are contrary to those of others. When we are dealing with people who are inherently different from us we have to work hard at living at peace and in unity with them.

Different is the key word. People are different from us, but that doesn't make them wrong. The key to living in harmony is learning to appreciate those differences. Remember that every time you deal with a person who is different from you, it is an opportunity to learn something. When we can appreciate someone who is different from us, we can begin to see the strengths in their personality or viewpoint. Taking the time to listen to someone who sees a situation differently than you do is the first step towards unity.

It is my personal belief that one of the important things that God does in our relationships with fellow believers is that He brings to light things in us that need to change. That is, in part, one aspect of sanctification, specifically the process of becoming conformed to the image of Christ. As we walk with the Lord, we are to become more like Him. II Corinthians 3:18 says, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

So when we are at odds with someone in the body of Christ (or outside the body as well, however here I am focusing on Body Life), we should seek to resolve the issue in a way to be in unity as the psalmist wrote, but also to live at peace with that person as Paul instructed. Resolve the issue. Find a way to live at peace with him/her.

It is important to remember that we are not talking about simply putting on a happy face with a "grin and bear it" mentality. Inside many happy appearances reside heart issues that are only known to God and ourselves. It is those hidden heart issues that eventually come out and destroy relationships and, yes, even entire churches.

But even more importantly when we are struggling to accept a person or his/her views, we should ask God to show us what is in our hearts that needs to be changed. (Notice I didn't say to ask God what is in the other person's heart!) What is there in your heart that is contributing to the relationship issue you are dealing with? Bitterness? Pride? Unforgiveness? Selfishness? Anger? Resentment? Arrogance? Seek God, and then seek to rid yourselves of whatever it is that gets in the way of unity and peace in relationships.

If we all were to do that, if we were to look inward for the problem instead of pointing fingers at others, we would be well on our way to unity and peace, and the Church would be an example to the world in ways that can only testify of God's transforming power in our lives.

Ephesians 4:1 says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

I Peter 2:17 says, "Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."

Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

The message is clear. We are to prefer the desires and needs of others over those of ourselves. Whenever we are insisting on our way or angry when we don't get it, we are clearly in violation of scripture and we have a heart issue to deal with.

Talk to me! Post a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts!